I see trans people – Biggotry in the name of tolerance

(this one is gonna be a long one, brace yourselves)

As far as I’m aware, I’ve only been in the presence of a transgender person, a woman, once in my life. I heard of her transgenderism from co-workers who were explaining to me that A. (a very arian man-whore who was in a commited relationship at the time – as far as his girlfriend knew) was trying to get laid with the new executive floor attendant (it took place at a hotel). They told me about A. trying to get laid with her (and her being very keen on his approaches) and this A. guy later being warned off by another co-worker who knew her when she was still a he. While I cannot for the life of me figure out why a horny guy would be put off by this when he obviously not only found her hot but also got the confirmation that she had a functioning vagina, I admit I laughed my ass off. Well, mind you, laughing my ass off when I heard about someone’s transgenderism, believe it or not, had me explaining to a bunch of white cis males (heeeere we go…), one of them quite homossexual too, that I wasn’t a biggot.

See, long story made short: a month before that, I had put up with a cook (let’s call him B.) in my patisserie who was celebrating his last day working at the hotel kitchen – that is, I enjoyed the presence of a man I considered to be very cute for several hours before he was gone from my life forever. Well,  he did so by bringing a case of 24 pints of beer to the workplace at noon and vowing not to leave before he and others had made the case empty (we ended up drunkenly sharing a cheeseburger sitting on the curb behind the hotel in a warm summer night, but I “digest”…). Well, while he was hiding his drunken state by me at the patisserie he blabbed a lot. He told me about the new lady who was exectuive floor attendant starting that day, and paraphrasing B.:

She is the most fucking beautiful woman I’ve ever seen! In my mind, I have a pretty well-shaped idea of how a woman should look like, and she is it!! I could’ve just run up to her and kiss her, if only I didn’t have a girlfriend!

The good news is, not all white cis males (*smirk*) are cheating manwhores. But the bad news is (and here is why I laughed so hard), the perfect woman for a guy I find very cute is almost 100% chizeled by the surgeon’s scalpel – and quite legitimately so. Well, that kinda leaves me screwed (or quite the opposite).

And now here’s my beef: although I’m not a hipster, I used the term “cis” ironically as I wrote this. I don’t have a problem with any kind of sexual orientation (whereas, as you can see, I frown upon promiscuity, but no one is perfect), I don’t have a problem with transsexuals, and as far as I could tell, a whole bunch of oh-so-mean white cis males don’t have a problem with it either (even if I found the rationalizations from one of them about why a transgender woman is the perfect girlfriend fucking pathetic, but hey…). But the age of cis and trans as come and woe us! We are so unspecial and such biggots being cis!

Here’s the deal: I see people using the terms cis as an insult and trans as something everyone is forced to accept, no questions askedthis is the reverse copy of straight biggots.

I see people calling themselves trans or claiming to have children/family who are trans and accusing “cis” people (like me) of not knowing, not being able to ever know what it’s like, becuase we are cis and only know our point of view. If I can’t comprehend trans people, trans people can’t comprehend me or any other cis person! This is not negotiable! Either we all acknowledge each other as sensient beings capable of empathizing with others, or we all mutually respect the fact that we will never fully know what the other side is like!

I see trans people (and other related people I’ve mentioned) classifying their hardship as harder than the hardship of other minorities – up to the extent of putting the gays and the african-american (because fuck all other black people, right?) in the same level of social hardship. Every single group of people has hardships, bullshit expected from them by this group, by that group, by society, you name it – including the white cis male, both the straight and the gay ones, who you so joyously include in the same category. If you some day decide to look past your belly button, maybe you will come to realize this.

I am sick and tired of biggotry in the name of tolerance and I will have none of that.

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How starving kids in Africa are giving you strength. Or are they?…

A very dear friend of mine recently lost her job. I was hearing her out and giving the best support I could, when she blurted out the self-guilting crap everyone seems to be fond of: “I mean, there are so many people who don’t even have a roof over their heads, and here I am feeling sorry for myself because I lost my job…” Oh, wow… Let me make with you the point I made with her (though a bit more excitedly and ranty)

We’re not allowed to feel bad because someone has it rough. Someone has it rougher, right? Me, I say you’re allowed. Consider this: when someone achieves something AWESOME, you’re not supposed to feel jealous. You’re not supposed to compare yourself to other people. You’re supposed to focus on yourself. But when you’re down, suddenly, you’re supposed to compare yourself to other people: they have it worse, don’t you dare feel sorry for yourself! There are kids starving in Africa, why are you feeling sorry for yourself?

What are the starving kids, homeless and everyone who has it worse getting from this? Nothing. What are we getting from this kind of rationalization? Guilt. We’re not helping anyone. We’re just feeling even worse about ourselves in a situation where we need the largest amount of positive thinking that is possible. Because feeling bad is so helpful to everyone.

If you have a problem, you should very well focus on yourself and deal with the problem. If you feel bad about the kids in africa, then please, actually donate. Here’s a list:

http://www.aidforafrica.org/member-charities/all-members/

Or find something else. Find a cause worthy of your attention. HELP. But when you have a problem of your own, deal with it. Forget the starving children and the homeless. Yes, f*** it, I said it! You’re not helping anyone by guilting yourself into a crappy state of mind that makes yet another person of this world helpless.