It takes two to tango – my beef with compromising

I filled out personality tests for the dating site experience I had a while ago. Now mind you, I won’t even for a second try to justify matchmaking based on personality tests, but I did take similar tests YEARS ago when taking vocational tests for career choices and I know for a fact that they are, most of the time, eerily accurate. Most of the time. One of the things that shocked me about my results was how it pointed out that my ability to compromise with others or adapt my habits to others was bellow average. Which, you know, I think is kind of bullshit. As an example, they said

“when a partner can only sleep with the window open, you have a hard time accepting to sleeping with the window open”.

I’m sticking to the window example because I couldn’t care less. An open or a closed window is something that, to me, quite depends on circumstance and mood. Now, who is this partner and why does his need of sleeping with an open window trump my need of sleeping with a closed one? How is giving into the habits of others a form of compromise? You see, I’d think a fair compromise would be something like “Ok sweetie, but I’m going to have to sleep under an extra blanket” But giving into others is perceived as weak when you do it and as a lack of ability to compromise when you don’t. Seriously, when you’re in the middle of a fight with someone, how often has the other person said “You are so stubborn!” although they are insisting on a particular something as much as you? It’s like a battle of let’s-see-who-calls-who-stubborn-first. I’ve been, for a long time, replying to that silly comment with “No more than you.” It takes two to tango. In every sense of the expression. With the people I know, sometimes one side wins (i.e. makes the other one give up) and sometimes the other does. I guess if my family and aquaintances took the personality test, they would all be under average when it comes to compromise. And I’m wondering: who are these awful doormats that are being balanced against me and my peers to estimate an average? And what’s their life expectancy?


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