My beef with Sex and the City – the take on erectile dysfunction

I once stood in a kitchen filled with male cooks when one of them jestingly explained how one of the 19 year old helpers bragged about allways being able to get an erection on command in his (apparently octogenary) whole life. “And now I feel so bad, you see? Because with me, if I’m really tired, I can’t perform”. He was joined by all the other grinning cooks, one by one, each one between the age of 25 and 35, half of them in a commited relationship, all stating the reasons why they at least once couldn’t perform: too much to drink, too stressed, too depressed, still angry over a fight.

I absolutely adore Sex and the City (Miranda’s my girl), have obsessed over it and watched all seasons back and forth, forth and back. I watch parts of it with a been-there-sister!-stance, other parts with a THAT-must-suck-stance – I think it helps that I only really saw the series consideraby past my teens. But I have a beef with some stuff on the series. The one scene that will ALLWAYS make me cringe is at Charlotte’s first wedding.

In the off-chance you never saw the series and are still reading this: a very experienced Charlotte somehow thought it would be fun to NOT have sex with her boyfriend and soon fiancé until the wedding night. When she confided this to her friends the night before the wedding, they were more than shocked and this prompted a very drunk Charlotte to take the taxi drive to her soon-to-be husband and fail at having sex because he couldn’t get it up.

So Charlotte was freaking out before walking down the aisle, tells her friend Carrie what happened and in Carrie’s words “I told her a little white lie: “happens to everyone!”.”. A little white lie. That by the way, is no lie at all, it DOES happen to everyone. It is bad enough that (most) men put themselves down when they can’t get an erection just because they’re rolling around naked with a woman in bed. It’s even worse that women nowadays go around saying (or at least insinuating) shit like “That never happens to me ’cause I can please a man!”. We had to have a popular show endorse an awful myth. Breaks my heart, it really does.

I don’t usually think celebrities and TV shows should be a role model, but can we at least not make it something to be frowned upon? Please!

It also bugs me that the scriptwriters seem to have forgotten that one of the first episodes Charlotte and Trey were dating, she gave him a handjob. It happened before the engagement, so it fits with Trey’s later expanation of him having a psychological problem because he was never the marrying type. But it doesn’t fit with Charlotte’s initial obsession over finding out if the problem was physical or psychological. How do you forget giving someone a handjob?! Well, unless you’re, you know, Samantha.


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