Life review: The secret diary of a call girl

A friend of mine talked me into watching it on Netflix. She called it light and funny. Ultimately, what convinced me was the fact that it’s a UK series, not a USA series – I absolutely adore american series, but I do think that some subjects are just not their/your forte.

Well, I had a friend/aquaintance who was an expensive dominatrix for several years, which certainly doesn’t make me an expert, but it’s still a source of information directly from inside the fetish scene. And I’m allways willing to search and read up on, well, not everything about sex, but more than the average people (so I’ve been informed by grinning wide-eyed people when I tell them about the new sex-fetish-niche I read about in a magazine and then googled and wikipediaed and youtubed and and and)…. I might describe myself as a porn/fetish/prostitution curious enthusiast and amateur sex lover (i.e. I’m not banging everyone in sight just because I’m oh-so-free and evolved).

So I eventually got curious about a series that bases upon a book that is a biography of a London-escort. I really don’t feel like reading the book for reasons I won’t delve into right now, but four episodes into season one, I can only hope that this escort in the series is portrayed in a very different way than in the book.

This series basically depiects a horse-teethed english working-class tart that somehow managed to stumble into a high-class hooker circle and get away with being an unprofessional cow! No, seriously! Aside from contradicting herself an amazing amount of times in the pilot episode (which I gladly scratched off to the pressure of having to give too much information upfront so the viewer immediately gets hooked), there is not one single episode in which that cow managed to act professional!

So far she has:

– Tricked a customer into having sex with her instead of the call-girl he requested so she could validate herself after failing to make the customer climax on the first go

– Dumped a paying customer while on the clock to go serve as a groupie to one of her idols

– Sneaked out a 12h shift at a hotel and had paid sex with another man while her original paying customer (an old regular, no less) slept the first few screws off, because she was uhm… bored. Because she’s special, unable to fall assleep next to customers so she gets bored on sleepovers. Yuh.

– Physically lashed out on an S&M customer because she felt betrayed by her best friend (!!), obviously even after the customer screamed the safety word several times.

By god, this character is a fucking disgrace and a shame for the fetish and escort community! No wonder everyone is eating this shit up! It’s miles away from what they couldn’t possibly stomach! Ugh… Sorry people, it pisses me off. Just because it’s better than 50 shades of crap doesn’t make it good – 50 shades set the bar pretty low….


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