I wonder… do you know who I’m talking about? It really would make me so happy if you do.
I once searched for a certain classic novel in my native language and had a hard time doing so. Only children’s versions were available, but I eventually lucked out and found a volume and I gulped it down. And then I gulped it down again. And again. It’s such an awesome book, I have to read it at least once every two years. I was once laughed at for sharing how awesome the book is: “I read that as a child!” Well, you read the kiddy version and you’re an ignorant and an idiot.
Athos, Porthos and Aramis. And then D’Artagnan came along. Do you know who I’m talking about now? Well, of course you do. You probably read it as a child too – the kiddy version. Or you saw one of many hollywood versions. If you’re lucky, you’ve seen Athos depiected as an alcoholic – but you have no idea why he is one. If you’re lucky, you’ve seen the version where they try to retrieve not a necklace from London but diamond pendants, but you’ll never know that the diamonds weren’t returned in the knick of time; you’ll never know that the cardinal actually got what the musketeers went for and you’ll never know the most fabulous comeback of the queen during the ball when she’s supposed to prove that she has all the diamonds.
But what really sucks is that, even if you were lucky to see a version with Planchet, you’ll most likely never know who the fuck are Grimaud, Mousqueton and Bazin. They weren’t four in these adventures, they were eight: each had a servant and by the way, when D’artagnan started up as a guard until an opening in the Musketeers came along, he was advised by his friends not only to get a servant, but to give him a good beating first thing, so the servant would know who’s the boss. And the deal with the diamonds was less than a quarter of the story.
The Three Musketeers is not just a period novel nowadays. It was a period novel back when it was written. And it’s a book no one should miss. I hope I peaked your curiosity into reading it, if you never did. Me, I’m just glad that I did and that everyone in France has – I checked with a french guy.