A very dear friend of mine recently lost her job. I was hearing her out and giving the best support I could, when she blurted out the self-guilting crap everyone seems to be fond of: “I mean, there are so many people who don’t even have a roof over their heads, and here I am feeling sorry for myself because I lost my job…” Oh, wow… Let me make with you the point I made with her (though a bit more excitedly and ranty)
We’re not allowed to feel bad because someone has it rough. Someone has it rougher, right? Me, I say you’re allowed. Consider this: when someone achieves something AWESOME, you’re not supposed to feel jealous. You’re not supposed to compare yourself to other people. You’re supposed to focus on yourself. But when you’re down, suddenly, you’re supposed to compare yourself to other people: they have it worse, don’t you dare feel sorry for yourself! There are kids starving in Africa, why are you feeling sorry for yourself?
What are the starving kids, homeless and everyone who has it worse getting from this? Nothing. What are we getting from this kind of rationalization? Guilt. We’re not helping anyone. We’re just feeling even worse about ourselves in a situation where we need the largest amount of positive thinking that is possible. Because feeling bad is so helpful to everyone.
If you have a problem, you should very well focus on yourself and deal with the problem. If you feel bad about the kids in africa, then please, actually donate. Here’s a list:
Or find something else. Find a cause worthy of your attention. HELP. But when you have a problem of your own, deal with it. Forget the starving children and the homeless. Yes, f*** it, I said it! You’re not helping anyone by guilting yourself into a crappy state of mind that makes yet another person of this world helpless.