A very dear friend of mine recently lost her job. I was hearing her out and giving the best support I could, when she blurted out the self-guilting crap everyone seems to be fond of: “I mean, there are so many people who don’t even have a roof over their heads, and here I am feeling sorry for myself because I lost my job…” Oh, wow… Let me make with you the point I made with her (though a bit more excitedly and ranty)
We’re not allowed to feel bad because someone has it rough. Someone has it rougher, right? Me, I say you’re allowed. Consider this: when someone achieves something AWESOME, you’re not supposed to feel jealous. You’re not supposed to compare yourself to other people. You’re supposed to focus on yourself. But when you’re down, suddenly, you’re supposed to compare yourself to other people: they have it worse, don’t you dare feel sorry for yourself! There are kids starving in Africa, why are you feeling sorry for yourself?
What are the starving kids, homeless and everyone who has it worse getting from this? Nothing. What are we getting from this kind of rationalization? Guilt. We’re not helping anyone. We’re just feeling even worse about ourselves in a situation where we need the largest amount of positive thinking that is possible. Because feeling bad is so helpful to everyone.
If you have a problem, you should very well focus on yourself and deal with the problem. If you feel bad about the kids in africa, then please, actually donate. Here’s a list:
Or find something else. Find a cause worthy of your attention. HELP. But when you have a problem of your own, deal with it. Forget the starving children and the homeless. Yes, f*** it, I said it! You’re not helping anyone by guilting yourself into a crappy state of mind that makes yet another person of this world helpless.
Have you met one of these?
They are usually one of your friends and they were bullied when they were kids or they were bullied when they were teenagers. Or maybe they were supposedly set aside because they’re so “different”. They make you wonder if they were set aside or if they rather set themselves aside. You still love them to bits, though. But.
They call their bullies assholes and criticize them for having been mean and having ruined parts of their lives. Today, the bullies have pretty much grown out of it and the bullied ones are much better than everyone else. The bullied ones have become the bullies. The product of their bullies 20 or 30 years ago, they’re not keen on having kids to train into being bullies. “If you want a job well done, do it yourself”, seems to be their motto. The new bullies. Bully 2.0
I’m especially annoyed by the “literary bullies”. If you don’t read, you’re a f***ing moron. They read, and they are so much better than everyone else for it. But of course, these people are usually far from reading anything so-called elevated on a regular basis (other than one classic or two) so they’ll simply point out how very much aware they are, that they read entertaining books rather than what one would call literaure, but that it’s still so important to read anything, above all. Unless you’ve read 50 shades of Blah, because if you did, YOU are garbage. YOU cannot possibly have one redeeming thought or quality.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being bullied by a Bully 2.0, I just know a few and I’m sick of listening to their rants on how everyone else is so stupid. I just don’t feel the nead to push their buttons so I’d rather blog it for you than telling them on their faults (have I not any of my own?). And they fortunately know me well enough and appreciate my friendship enough that they’d never bully me. Also because they’re usually very frail, and they know that my response to nonsense like that would be “F*** you and the horse you rode in on, ya big bully.”
I’m not a fan of the “everyone else is doing it” excuse. Not because I think it shows poorness of spirit, no. Not because I have to be oh-so-different and unique, oh please no. It’s mostly because I’m a grown woman, I go to work, I pay my bills and whener I have the chance, I’ll do as I please, thank you very much.
But after trying a couple of blogs on for size, with a tendency to write way too much (how can anyone write less than 1000 words?!) and trying to bring some content and something new to the internet; well, after failing at that and seeing how many of these “dear-diary” crap blogs are successfully around, I finally figured out that, while I try not to think of myself as being better than others, I’m certainly no less either. So here is my blog, where I allow myself to vent because of this and that and, as a personal challenge, try to keep it under 500 words at all times.
Gather ’round my soapbox, people. Here goes nothing!